How many times have you told yourself that you’ll take some time for yourself later—after the work is done, after everyone else is taken care of, after things slow down? And how often does later never actually come?
I hear this story over and over again from clients and friends alike. A constant cycle of obligations, commitments, and exhaustion. A feeling that life is a never-ending to-do list, leaving no room for personal time, self-care, or even a simple breath of stillness. And beneath it all, a nagging belief that taking time for yourself is somehow…selfish. Ugh.
But is it really?
We’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we do for others. That being a "good" person means being selfless, always available, always giving. And sure, giving and supporting others are wonderful things—but what happens when you constantly empty yourself in service to everyone else and never take the time to refill?
The Oxygen Mask Reminder We Ignore
We all know the airline safety rule: Secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. It’s basic logic—if you pass out from lack of oxygen, you won’t be able to help anyone else. Yet, in everyday life, we ignore this wisdom. We try to pour from an empty cup, pushing through exhaustion, stress, and depletion, convincing ourselves that everyone else’s needs must come first.
But what if we stopped looking at self-care as just a way to refill our cup so we can give more away? What if we allowed ourselves to keep our cups full simply because we deserve to feel good, to thrive, and to enjoy our lives—not just so we can continue serving others?
Life isn't just about replenishing yourself so you can keep giving everything away. You are allowed to keep your cup full for yourself. You are entitled to a life that feels good, to energy that belongs to you, to dreams and goals that are yours to pursue—not just something to be sacrificed for others.
The Cost of Neglecting Yourself
Neglecting self-care doesn’t just impact you—it impacts everyone around you. When you're constantly running on empty, stress takes over. You become irritable, short-tempered, drained. Tasks feel harder, decisions feel overwhelming, and even the things you once enjoyed start to feel like obligations. Chronic stress isn't just emotionally taxing—it has real physical consequences, too. From muscle tension to sleep disturbances, weight gain, and even an increased risk of heart disease, stress takes a toll.
But the real loss? You.
When you constantly put yourself last, you begin to lose touch with what truly lights you up. Your own passions, interests, and goals get buried under layers of obligation. The vibrant, energetic, joyful version of yourself fades into someone who is simply trying to get through the day.
And that is not the life you were meant to live.
The Truth About Boundaries (And Why You Need Them)
If you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, it’s worth asking: Where did I learn that? Who taught you that your needs come second? That your desires should be postponed indefinitely? That your energy should only be used to serve others?
Often, the struggle isn’t a lack of time—it’s a lack of boundaries. When you never express your needs or carve out time for yourself, others naturally assume you’ll always be available.
But just like my mom set the expectation that she needed 15 minutes to decompress after work before engaging with us, you can set boundaries that honor your own needs.
What if, instead of feeling guilty, you started to see self-care as an act of self-respect?
Because that’s exactly what it is.
Shifting the Narrative: From Self-ISH to Self-FUL
We need to redefine what it means to take care of ourselves. Instead of seeing it as indulgent, we can see it as essential. Instead of framing it as selfish, we can see it as self-FUL—allowing ourselves to be whole, nourished, and at our best, not just for others, but for ourselves.
Consider this: When was the last time you truly felt energized, inspired, and alive?
What did your life look like then? What habits did you have in place? What boundaries did you set? And most importantly—why did you let those things go?
You are not here just to exist or to constantly serve the needs of others. You are here to live fully, to grow, to pursue what excites you, to experience joy, adventure, and fulfillment. That is not selfish. That is living.
Practical Steps to Prioritize Yourself (Without the Guilt)
So, how can you start putting yourself back on the priority list? Here are a few simple shifts you can make today:
Reframe self-care as a responsibility, not a luxury. Just like eating, sleeping, or brushing your teeth, your well-being is not optional.
Start small. Even 5-10 minutes of mindful self-care can make a difference. A walk, deep breathing, journaling—whatever helps you reconnect.
Communicate your needs. Set clear expectations with those around you. Let them know when you need space, rest, or support.
Drop the guilt. Remind yourself daily: I am worthy of care. I deserve to feel good. My joy matters.
Keep your cup full—for you. Not just to give more away, but because your happiness and fulfillment matter.
Give Yourself Permission
Imagine a life where taking care of yourself was just a given. Where you no longer debated whether you deserved rest, fun, or time for your passions. Where you lived your life fully, not just as a support system for others, but as the main character of your own story.
You don’t have to wait for permission.
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely burned out.
You don’t have to wait until everyone else’s needs are met.
You get to choose now.
So, go ahead. Take the walk. Say no. Take the trip. Read the book. Chase the dream. Make space for yourself. Keep your cup full—because you are worth it.
Want an easy way to prioritize yourself? Download my free Daily Self-Care Checklist to start making yourself a priority in simple, doable ways. And if you're ready to take it further, join RECLAIM: Clear the Chaos. Create Space. Reclaim Your Joy. Founding members get exclusive pricing—because your well-being is worth investing in.
Download the Checklist and Join Reclaim today!
Enjoy the journey,
Julie
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